POSTMODERN MAN

 

escher postmodern love relationship society free conversation

 

 

 

 

 

 

by KENNETH HARPER FINTON © 2O15

While I was busy eating

My carrot spoke to me.

It said, “You simple, idle fool,

You cannot swallow me.”

“You grubby root,” I said to it,

“That’s not for you to say.

Your purpose, so they tell me.

Is to look the other way.”

While I was busy reading

The author chastised me.

“These thoughts that you are thinking,”

He said, “are not of me.”

While I was busy sleeping

The world went bust on me.

While I was busy drinking,

I snubbed reality.

While I was  busy writing

My friends all disappeared.

When I was busy dreaming

Some would reappear.

Half dead and resurrected

For allegiance can’t be bought.

Tortured and neglected,

They swam across my thoughts.

I realized the truth therein

And closed the book of dreams.

It seems that nothing ever was

Exactly what it seemed.


Postmodernism is a late-20th-century movement in the arts, architecture, and criticism that was a departure from modernism. Postmodernism includes skeptical interpretations of culture, literature, art, philosophy, history, economics, architecture, fiction, and literary criticism

The Menopause and Sex Benefits

Doris Dawn - Mature Model.

I am so excited and euphoric that I’ll discharge in writing first. A piece of news and a round mail message, they fit together like nothing else. Actually, I figured out that nothing runs at random.

I’m officially at menopause! Cannot tell how happy I am. I feel liberated and consider sharing some of the pre-menopause to menopause transition period concerns with other ladies. Why am I saying this? Because I entered pre-menopause five years ago. No one believed me then. My friends were skeptical when I was telling them about it. I was 40 then. Ensued a two years interval when I did the mistake of taking for granted the mainstream doctors’ scaring advices. Cervical conization, maybe a hysterectomy… they were suggesting. I declined, searching for naturist medics, those less inclined towards surgery and more familiar with the harmony between our body-soul duality and the naturally created environment.

View original post 1,803 more words

SEX DRIVE

Unknown-1

Sex Drive

© 2014-2017 Ken Finton

Do men have a greater desire for sex than women?

Many studies have been done to compare the sexual appetites of men and women. How many of them have any value to us as individuals?

Probably none, because as individuals we vary greatly. None of us are a typical cross sample because typical samples do not exist. Statistics are mathematical averages like the average temperature in a given month.

I can only tell you of my appetites. I know nothing of yours.

I can bear witness to the fact that sex is a driving force in adolescent years and reduces in importance with time and age. They say this is partially caused by a decrease in testosterone output as men age. Obviously, nature has not objected to this decrease. It seems to be natural and inherited process that leads some to a more focused use of their time and effort.

Scientists will tell you that is due to a hormone they call ‘testosterone’. The blood level of this hormone is seven to eight time higher than in a woman.

When given this hormone, “At the higher dose, the percentages of women who had sexual fantasies, masturbated, or engaged in sexual intercourse at least once a week increased two to three times from base line.” [The New England Journal of Medicine, September 7, 2000.]

This then shows that a high sex drive is a product of male hormonal levels?

Maybe not. The tests were conducted on women with woman who had hysterectomies and hormonal disorders.

I can tell you this. I have desired thousands more women than women have desired me. That is the primary difference between male and female appetites.

It does not take that much to set a man off on the road to desire. It is a path he has followed all his life.

Women Are More Selective

It is likely an ancient biological trait that enabled the choice of stronger, more dependable mates for the procreation of the family group,

That is why there is a battle of the sexes. That is why many men feel rejected, lose self confidence, then settle for less desirable women. This balance populates the world.

Though men may exercise their sexual desire every day—even every few hours—that does not mean that they act upon it.

Affairs are complicated. They can be quite frightening. Affairs have as many implications as there are individuals involved. Affairs are uncertain and can often be time consuming. Consenting individuals that have not been truthful in their motives to either themselves of their partners make the grist for the massive amounts of pulp fiction that washes over our social oceans.

Woman are only fertile for a short time each month. In order for the human race to persist, the man needs to be ready for sex when this occurs. What better way could nature devise than for a man to be ready than to give the males a bigger dose of carnal longing?

Who Leads the Seduction? 

The woman must be willing—unless physically forced. Inhibitions can also affect willingness. The fact that so many of us walk the earth is a clear sign that most women are not that inhibited at least some of the time. By responding to a man’s advances, the woman is not the victim of carnal desire, but a willing participant and the primary instigator of the sexual contact.

Do I hear a nay-not-so in the distance?

Then think about it. Without agreement, conjugal acts are deemed vile. The agreement for conjugal relations is sealed by the woman.

Do Men Tire of Their Partners?

There is the story of the farmer whose spouse was starving for sexual attention. She reminded him of the prize bull that they kept penned. “Old Ben” has no trouble satisfying the cows whenever he is called upon for service,” she says.

“But not with the same cow,” was her husband’s reply.

Although sexual familiarity becomes routine, most men do not use that as an excuse for frequent affairs. These affairs require work. Many men are too lazy to have an affair. These affairs may require change. Comfortable people generally like to keep things the way they are. These affairs require much energy, and the body has only so much of that to give.

On the whole, one would think that a man and a woman’s sex drive should be about equal. Once procreation is removed from the picture, the woman might even have a stronger drive than the man. The big difference is the woman’s ability to say ‘Yes’.

Men cannot sexually perform repeatedly as women can. This difference in biology can be used to show that women can have an even greater sexual appetite than men. Visions and tales of profligate women abound. These stories put the braggadocio of the world’s playboys to shame.

The Roman Empress Theodora would take on thirty slaves at a time to make certain that she was properly served. According to Procopius, she used all three of her body openings and lamented not having a fourth of a fifth that could be filled.

messalina2Pliny the Elder told us of Messalina, wife of Claudius, cousin to Nero and Caligula. She was one of the most promiscuous women in Rome. She competed with a prostitute to see who could have sex with the most men in a single night. Messina won the contest.

Women generally bear the burden of conception as long as they live. This does not have to be so for men. They can hop on their horses and ride off into the sunset.  So can women, but it does not happen nearly as often.

Women develop an ability to please and be of service that few man can ever possess. So we have cultures where woman are born and raised to please and men are born and raised to be pleased.

None of us made this world. We were born into it. We have to deal with it as we can. We learn change what we can, provided we have the will to do so. Comfort decreases the will for change. Discomfort increases it.

Sexual appetites are as important to us as food itself—men and woman alike—provided they are healthy both mentally and physically. Sometimes it seems a shame that society perverts these ancient longings for the sake of social perpetuity.

We use sex as a tool in many ways. We learn at an early age to exploit sexual energy.

Advertisements flood us with promises of sexual gratification. Movies and books fill us up with fantasies and stories that we might have never known, had we not been semi-literate movie goers and seekers of the mysterious unknown.

Pornography is a depression-proof business. Prostitutes, they say, are practitioners of the world’s oldest profession. Where prostitution is legal, sex crimes are much rarer.

So it seems that whether men have a stronger sex drive than women is not an important question at all. Every woman is different. Every man has his own private longings and dreams.

All of which brings us back to where we began, as does any cycle of life.

We should be thankful that this is so.

WHY I AM A WRITER

images

 

Try though we might, we cannot stop change from taking place. It is a natural process. Nature changes as part of life’s process because of the essential nature of change. Change is renewal and growth. It is people that pervert and oppose change for self-centered reasons.

Albert Einstein said, “The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.”

This is not a new revelation. La Tzu recognized that institutions and societies must change thousand of years ago. He said, “Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”

So you wake up in the morning in a bad mood, somewhat depressed. It is easy to be depressed. Even your dreams can depress you. You can be feeling triumphant one minute and wake up the next morning in a most sombre, unsatisfied state of mind.

Trying to control your emotions and your mind and your thoughts are often extremely useless endeavors. Thoughts pop in and out of our minds all the time.  They change the chemicals in our bodies that regulate our emotions and our feelings of well being for the better and for the worse.

Thoughts Are Not Real

Do you think your thoughts and ideas are real? They are not. They are no more real than the dreams that come into your mind and the nightmares that frightfully awaken you in the night.

There is no reason to allow negative thoughts to have power over you. Recognize that they are unreal and do not give them any value. A thought can be made real through action, but in its inception it is as wispy as a fantasy.

We might not be able to control our thoughts, but we CAN evaluate them. We can learn to recognize the judgmental thoughts that make us miserable.

Thoughts are neither right not wrong. They simply are. We are the ones that assign the value to them.  Some thoughts are going to be positive and some are going to be negative. Anyone who tells you to always think positively does not know much about thinking.

It is simply a fact that you are going to have thoughts that are negative. The real trick is to catch these thoughts before they depress you, recognize that they are not real and do not let them distress you. In time and with rest, they will pass.

There are times when we are thinking about things we need to evaluate. We think about our choices and our course of action. These are the times when we need to moderate our thoughts and evaluations and make certain that they are capable of leading us to a place we wish to go.

They very act of evaluating your thoughts is a kind of mediation. It will stop the chemical changes that lead to emotional distress. It does take some practice, I suppose. It is not something I am good at.

That is why I am a writer. I write my thoughts down and evaluate them later, throwing out those expressions that do not lead me to a clear place in which I prefer to dwell. That is what is great about being a writer. You are able to learn from yourself, your research, and your evaluations. It is cathartic in nature and always makes you feel that you have accomplished something worthwhile, produced something from nothing that has value.

TIME’S PASSING

by Kenneth Harper Finton ©2015

Science-Museum-Exhibition-2

Remember how your hair blew in the wind

that night we kissed and dreamed of sins.

I asked you why your large dark eyes

stared with wonder at the sky.

When we were young, two kids in love,

the world itself was not enough.

I dreamed that we’d forever lay

together at the end of day.

Now that time has flickered by,

I’m sure you still go watch the sky.

Oh, I remember well these things,

but now I have forgot your name.

THE WRITER’S DILEMMA

by Kenneth Harper Finton ©2015

a2351c22-19ff-40c4-8852-cbf36ff8bda3 It is said that writers “write to be read.” Then painters paint to be seen, actors act to impress and singers sing to be heard. If this is the case–and most often it is–the newer writers of the world are setting themselves up for great disappointment. They will not find the audience that they did on the past. They will not achieve the fame that others did in the past. They will quite likely not enjoy the riches that others have had In the past. Technology and world Internet communications have obviously changed the world.

Though it has democratized the ability to be read and seen and heard, by doing so it has practically eliminated the institutions that originally supported and brought culture to the world. Some vestiges of the old system remain, but they are losing ground with each passing year. They have been replaced by myriads of smaller, more democratized platforms that do not pay, do not develop and do not guide.

Moguls still control what is printed and sold in local stores. They chose the music that is allowed to be bought at box stores, the movies that are shown and the art that is displayed in museums and fine art shows. The competition for such space is fierce. The rewards to the artists have been drastically reduced from that it was just thirty years ago. This leaves the would-be writer with a great dilemma. They feel that they have talent and should pursue an audience and readership, but the audience is slimmer and the finger of fate even more fickle than ever.

Only by applying a talent is the talent polished and sharpened. “Practice,” it is said, “makes perfect.”

Perfection, though, is a subjective judgment that should be left out of that axiom. Practice makes us more exceptional. It is a fact, though, that natural talents of all kinds need to be performed and utilized to get beyond the level of the commonplace. Writers now write blogs to keep their talents active and polished, but the readers of blogs are also a fickle lot. The individual blog does not really reach a substantial audience. Blogs and personal journals are worthy tools for a writer, as they can refer to them in the future, draw on them for ideas, and reference them for later promotion.

There are few, if any, works that cannot be made better by multiple rewrites. So coming back to what you did before is quite valuable for the future. Professional writing has not totally become extinct, but it is nearing that vanishing point. Professional writers are not free to write as their muse moves them, but are pressured to write what their superiors believe their readership wants to read. Even with access to statistics that determine what people are choosing to read, the writer is often no longer free to follow their muse and write from the heart if they want to increase their following.

Yet, writing from the heart and being true to your own voice is the only possible way to beat the odds. Only that will make you stand out in a crowd. Even if you write from the heart, your heart and voice must be very special, very unique and quite original. Your perceived persona must be likable, strong and quite different from the masses. The vast majority of us will never be that person. Chloe Thurlow recently spoke of  “the time before smart phones made the whole world a banal image and the photographer like the editor became a dinosaur.” https://www.facebook.com/chloe.thurlow.5?fref=ts

We have a changing dictum. As writers, we must write for ourselves to be original. We will probably never make any financial profit from these efforts. Few in history ever have. We may not even achieve any large readership no matter how hard we try. Everyone has an opinion to share, a broken heart to express, a love that they feel they must share with the world about. All lives are novels in the making. The only thing we can do is persist or quit.

Of course, if we quit, we never will have an audience. If we want an audience or a readership, our only alternative is to persist. To persist means to continue through depression and despair. It means we need to develop tools to combat and dispel our negative feelings. To persist means to struggle with the reality that we spend too much time doing things that we do not love in order to do what we do love. It is easier to be a baker or a cook or a carpenter. All such work is creative, but the requirement of pleasing more than a few is not essential in many occupations.

Artists always had to pay their dues. The fees are even higher these days. Inflation, you know.