I lost my penis today. Somewhere in Penisylvania, I think. I must have bent over and it fell out. Frankly, I am lost without it. I am a writer and I use it all the time. It was a very special penis or I would simply go replace it. I have tried using a peniscil instead, but I can’t keep it sharp like my fountain penis.

What to do? I could write on my laptop, I guess, but something is wrong with my spell check. Every time I press a ‘p’, then an ‘e’, then an ‘n’ it adds an ‘is’.
This will not do. It is especially disconcerting when writing to my penis pal. If I write much more, I might be sent to a penisal colony of a penisitentiary. Further words from me will be penisding on solving this problem.

Thanks for reading.
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